D is for Decisions, Dieting and Deviation.

I hate the phrase, "I'm on a diet."
Firstly, it gives the impression that I now have to walk on eggshells around you, and you are obviously letting me know for a reason. Secondly, it's very sad that you have to be on a diet because you couldn't control yourself in the first place, but don't subject me to your insecurities and inconsistencies in your eating habits. Thirdly,  dieting is never a good idea if it's the 3rd one you've tried, or your 10th. Clearly, 3rd time around is no going to be the charm.
Lastly, I'm on a diet.
It's a decision I have to make, not by choice, trust me. I have made the decision to be on a diet. But my goal is not to be consistently swinging back and forth on the weight gained and lost pendulum. Because you see, I suffer from what I like to call the Previously Skinny Syndrome. I know that it is possible for me to be thin again, its just the decision I have to make to do so. I have to actually do something about it. I have a degree in this stuff for goodness sake! Therefore, no deviation from the diet. That's that.
So, what will this so called "diet" consist of?
Not sure, many things really, mostly fruit, vegetables and tofu. But I can certainly tell you what it will NOT include :
Food eaten between the hours of 8 PM and 7 AM. No late night eating, snacking, etc. None. Drinking water and unsweetened decaffeinated tea only.
That's pretty much it.
Since I'm not necessarily an advocate for limiting your choices totally if you are on a "real" diet, I'm going to give myself that one rule, and I'll tell you why. I have lots of self control during the day. I can snack on a handful of cherry tomatoes for hours. Slice up and apple and have a handful of Kashi GoLean, and I am good to go. Eat a small salad and go on all afternoon, unfazed. Feel just fine until it happens, the little voices from my stomach begin to sneak up my esophagus and infiltrate my brain. Stimulating the sleeping giant they lay at rest all day until she is awoken to prowl and scavenge for food post midnight.
It's really disgusting.
There I am standing, helpless in front of the cool air permeating from the refrigerator. It hits my face, cold, welcoming and refreshing. I know that where I am standing can only result in a decision. One, I go back to my bed. Crawl in, close my eyes and fall back asleep, only to dream of the treats I could have snaked on. (Because I was asleep.) Or, two, I reach in, grab what I would normally NEVER eat, and quickly inhale it.
I'm not an ice cream girl. I'm not a chocolate girl. I'm not even a fat girl really, although, after you read this you may think otherwise. But for some reason, late night eating is my current arch enemy. It is like biting my nails, it can't be helped, it's a habit; and now I need to make the decision, to diet, and not deviate from my course. It's really not exactly a diet, but the most logical decision I can make for myself and my wardrobe.
So, Laugh and giggle at me all you want; but if you see me with the jar of jelly in my hand, my finger in the peanut butter tub or espresso spooning nonfat vanilla yogurt into my mouth past bed time, take it away please. I'd do the same for you.
I'm obviously sick.
On another note, D should also be for the devil, because all I can think of, when stumbling in my pj's at 3 AM to the kitchen is, "The devil is making me do this."
And devil, I will control you, even though I know you taste so good.